Update: WIth the Gospel, EVERYTHNG is Possible!

Wow, talk about slacking off! I was supposed to be good at this blogging thing, and then life happens, and I am done being good at it. I am sorry for those who are really curious to know what is going on in my life, for those who really do follow my blog, it is you I am sorry to!
I think that life is interesting, sometimes crazy, and overall, really quite amazing. I know that my Heavenly Father is real, he loves me, and is so very aware of everything I may be feeling! He knows me better than I know myself! Sometimes, that makes me a little nervous. Especially when things happen...and I wonder why? Because Heavenly Father knows, for whatever reason, weather I understand or not, that I needed it? Even worse than that? I may never understand why something just had to happen until after this life, but I am pretty confident that Heavenly Father is aware of me, so with Faith, I press forward with hope!
Now, you may be wondering why all the testimony, and reassurance, but sometimes I think we fail to notice how great life is, especially in troubled times.
In high school, I thought there were so many little trivial things that we such a big deal...back then maybe? not being able to see a friend for a day? The end of the marching band season, etc.
October has always been a rather difficult month for me. It is the end of the marching band season, which leaves me longing for those friends I had...the memories...Its been filled with bittersweet memories for 4 years of my dearest friend Blake. He chose to end his life in October of 2005.
Now, I thought high school was bad? Nothing really compared to the events that followed that horrible october day. The following day, carrying his marching band "shako" onto the field for the last time, because he couldn't do it for himself? My hope bracelet: which was given to me by a stranger at his funeral...the pain, the hurt, the tears, and the joy...which I feared feeling! For a very long time, the idea that it was possible to feel happy killed me!
Needless to say, 4 years has changed me defintiely for the better! I find myself trying to always find the good in even the worst of circumstances...though its hard, it definitely is worth it, and in the end, the saddness, the pain, etc. usually doesn't last long!
October 10th this year, American Fork High School Marching Band, was on their way home from Idaho after sweeping the competition as usual, when the bus driver in the 2nd of 4 buses had a medical episode which made her pass out. There was an amazing teacher/friend Heather Christensen who jumped up to steer the bus away from the danger it faced feet away as it trailed off the side of the rode. After hitting a few big bumps, it tipped. Heather Christensen was ejected and killed. My heart had only once ever been so raw, broken, and vulnerable...and it was October again.
When Blake left this world, Heather Christensen was one of the first people to make sure I was doing okay. She sent me texts and emails checking up on me on a regular basis. She gave me reasons to smile, and taught me that it was okay to cry! It hurt worse than ever! I longed for two of the most influential people in my life! Why this had to happen? I have no idea, but I KNOW, without a shadow of a doubt, that someone was holding me up! I cried, I laughed, and I cried again! I missed Blake more than ever!!!
This event made me realize, with the gospel, you truly can find the good in ANY bad situation! The Plan of Salvation, Families are Forever, anything you go through will be made easier through the gospel! Which is why I have started writing a book/journal of events in my life that have caused me to need the gospel more than ever! What helps me stay so positive through difficult times, and how I manage to have a good day, when everything around me is spiraling down, OR, how to pull myself out of a pit I didn't see coming! With the gospel, everything is possible!!!
I am truly thankful to my Heavenly Father, for trusting me to find joy in the journey! I am grateful for his love for me and for all of us! I am grateful for life, love, and the pursuit of happiness! I LOVE being happy! I LOVE life!!!
With love,
Me!